My understanding of “calling” has evolved over the years. Early on, a narrow institutional perspective defined my view of being called. It was the only framework I understood at the time, but now my view of calling is profoundly relational. My perspective underwent a necessary shift that led me to a more Biblical understanding of calling.
Humans love patterns. We see them everywhere, even when they are not there. We make sense of the world around us by organizing it into things we can understand and control. In my spiritual journey, I have seen three stages of belief and marked correlated behaviors that go with them. Maybe this will help you to determine where you are and what the next steps are for you.
Either He is your king (master) or you are (Matthew 6:24). Both perspectives cannot exist at the same time. One will always kill the other. In my experience, very few people let Christ sit on the throne of their lives. They never truly submit to Him and order their lives according to the direction of His Kingdom.